Inhuman - Book 1 Page 7

  The sad part was if I did see a cat roaming around, I wouldn’t be bringing it home to keep as a pet.

  Thinking of having to feed my wife and daughter squirrel or cat, or even dog meat was beginning to make me understand firsthand why people were willing to kill for food.

  There has to be a better way.

  But what if there’s not?

  Jessica and I were in the living room, talking about old times. Sophia was fast asleep, clutching her favorite stuffed animal. Jessica was lying down on the couch with her head in my lap and my arm across her chest. I could tell she was starting to fade, and so was I – but I couldn’t. I had to get up and walk around so I would stay alert.

  When I began easing her off of me so I could stand, my watch passed right in front of her face. She jerked up and asked, “Didn’t Jim leave just after noon? It’s almost 4:30!” Her elevated voice caused Sophia to stir.

  I probably shouldn’t have done any of this in the first place. I should have been watching.

  What was I thinking?

  I helped her up and directed her to take Sophia into the bedroom before rushing to the back door. Instead of actually stepping outside, I used the small window over the kitchen sink to search for him.

  This is where I used to watch my family enjoying their lives.

  Now I use it to see if anyone’s coming to kill us.

  He was nowhere to be seen. I thought about cracking open the back door and calling out his name, but decided it was a horribly stupid idea. More than anything, I wanted to go look for him, though it just wasn’t an option.

  He’s probably already dead.

  And whoever killed him is just waiting for me to come out now.

  I thought of the man I killed – Could it be them?

  Jessica came up behind me. “Maybe he’s tracking something? Like a deer that ran away?”

  I entertained the idea that her assumption was sound, though I found myself highly doubting it.

  He knows how serious this is. It’s been over four hours now.

  “I don’t know, Jessica. Just go lock yourself in that room with Sophia. And push the furniture in front of the door like I showed you.”

  She took hold of my sleeve. “I know you feel obligated, but promise me you won’t go looking for him.”

  “I won’t.”

  He’d understand…

  As she walked away, looking back three separate times before turning the corner, the overwhelming sense of doom took over me. Everything seemed to be playing out just as I’d feared.

  One of us goes out alone, gets taken out and then all they have to get through is one man, a woman and a child.

  I shouldn’t go near the windows anymore...

  Before long, I managed to convince myself that it was in fact all part of someone’s plan to take everything we had – someone very clever and patient. Whether or not it had to do with the man I killed or the men who already came through no longer mattered.

  I briefly considered gathering everything except my guns and leaving it in the front yard, thinking that maybe they’d just take it and go without attacking us. And it might have been feasible if not for the chance that it could all have something to do with revenge.

  As much as I hated to think it – Jim was on his own. There was nothing I could do to help him without blatantly risking Jessica and Sophia.

  They could be watching from every direction. Or I could be totally overreacting and Jessica’s right. Jim could be chasing down a deer right now. I’d probably do the same if I actually saw one – it would be crazy to let it slip away.

  All I could do was try to stay calm and be prepared for anything. I had to keep reminding myself that nerves and shaky hands could get me killed if I were suddenly forced into a gunfight…

  As the hours passed, I constantly checked on Jessica and Sophia while walking around the house and very carefully looking through all of the windows. The sun was starting to set.

  If he has been tracking something he’ll be heading back very soon. Can’t do shit in the dark.

  I’ll know soon…

  Once darkness fell and I could no longer see the tree line, I slowly took on the belief that someone was out there with Jim’s rifle, waiting for their chance to take a shot at me through the window. From that point on, I didn’t even risk peeking out – not that there would have been a point anyway.

  “Trying to stay calm” became an impossible task. I felt like an animal that was aware it was about to be slaughtered. My family being involved only intensified it. I was alone and armed with a rifle that most would refer to as “ancient”. My confidence was at an all-time low.

  Thinking of those men kicking down people’s doors and murdering them for food, laughing and yelling out sounds of celebration as they did, made me feel weak and helpless. I knew that I wouldn’t even stand a chance against a couple of ruthless men like them – let alone a group.

  In a way, I felt like I was already dead – like I had already failed them…

  The next time I glanced down at my father’s watch it read 9:00pm. I had just checked on Jessica and Sophia for what seemed like the fiftieth time.

  I need to just let them be. Constantly knocking on the door and asking if they’re okay has to be scaring Sophia.

  The room was on the second floor, so the only way anyone was getting to them was by killing me. Knocking on the door and hearing their voices simply gave me a momentary distraction from the severity of my stress.

  I hadn’t stopped moving, hearing nothing other than the sounds of my own footsteps on the hard wooden floors echoing throughout the house. And that partnered with my lack of sleep made it so I was approaching a state of extreme exhaustion. I didn’t even really know what I was trying to accomplish. I couldn’t check the windows, and even if I could I’d only see my own reflection due to the faint candle light.

  I’d been feeling myself getting weaker by the day – all the stress had to be making it worse.

  Eventually, I wised up and forced myself to take a seat so I could possibly start to relax a little. I pulled a chair to the center of the living room and positioned it so I could watch the front and back door simultaneously (which was what I should have done in the first place).

  I need to be strong and clearheaded.

  Right now, I’m miles away from either one of those things.

  I’d put out all the candles but one and set it on the opposite side of the room. The house was dark, quiet and getting colder by the minute. It was old and horribly insulated. I could hear the wind flexing everything and feel the cold air seeping in through the paper thin glass of the windows.

  Sitting still eventually made me cold enough to get up and grab a navy-blue blanket that was draped over the couch. I sat down, flung it around my back and crossed my arms – wrapping it around my shoulders and covering my chest.

  I was so tired and, naturally, the cold and the blanket just made it worse.

  I had to scoff at the futility of it as I began repeating – Don’t close your eyes – in my head.

  …

  I awoke to the feeling of cold steel poking into the side of my neck.

  I slowly panned right, only to see the barrel of a rifle protruding from the shadows. It was digging directly into my jugular, partially cutting off the blood flow and causing it to send dull pulses throughout my body. Whoever it was put more pressure on it once I moved my head.

  I fucked up.

  I’m dead – they’re dead.

  Because I failed them.

  A man’s voice came from the darkness. “Put both guns on the floor and stand up very slowly. And no one will get hurt.”

  I didn’t move for a few moments. I was weighing my options. The only one I could see other than doing what he said was getting shot in the neck.

  Maybe he’s telling the truth…

  I felt a spark of hope – If he wasn’t, he would have just killed me instead of waking me up.

  He jammed the barrel deepe
r into my neck. “Do it!”

  Just when I started to lower my rifle to the ground, I heard Jim say, “Let’s do it” in my head, over and over again. He had a particular way of saying it.

  Could it be?

  After I placed my rifle on the ground he said, “The pistol too. Come on, let’s go.”

  It is him.

  His knowledge of my other gun convinced me even more so. I didn’t want to believe it, but there was no rational way for me to deny it.

  Therefore, as I took the Walther out of my belt line, I softly but sternly asked, “Why would you do this us?”

  When I said it, I felt him relieve some pressure from the gun against my neck.

  It really is him.

  I placed the Walther on the floor next to my rifle and he said, “Just do what I say and I won’t hurt any of you. I just want the food, water and the pistol – along with the box of bullets for it. You can keep your rifle. Now, stand up.”

  I stood and responded, “What do you want me to do now, Jim” purposely and boldly emphasizing his name.

  He sighed and moved in front of me – pointing his rifle at my heart. Our eyes locked. It took everything in me not to say, “I’m going to kill you, Jim.” The only reason I held my tongue was due to the fear of making things even worse.

  Yeah right.

  I can’t do shit.

  He stayed quiet as he retrieved my Walther. And then, while aiming my own gun at me, he ordered, “Take a few steps back.”

  I complied.

  Even in the darkness, I could see the guilt strewn about his face. I knew him well. He was in a great deal of pain emotionally, but that didn’t matter to me at all. I planned on killing him without hesitating if I got the chance. His remorse meant nothing – only his actions mattered.

  Jim proceeded to take all the bullets out of my rifle and put them in his pocket. He then slid it to the other side of the room with his foot while still pointing my own gun at me. “Alright, go make Jessica and Sophia come out of that room.”

  I uncontrollably lunged toward him and he quickly aimed up at my face. I stopped.

  “What the fuck are you doing, Jim?” I roared.

  He took two steps back and said, “You know me, man, I’m not gonna hurt anyone. I just can’t trust you anymore, so I wanna know where everyone is.”

  I can’t believe this is happening. After worrying so much about so many different scenarios, the one thing I never even thought to expect happens…

  “You can’t trust me?” I almost laughed. I was far beyond anger. “Please, Jim, why are you doing this? I thought we were helping each other.” If I could talk him out of it, I planned on killing him anyway.

  He groaned, “Come on, you know this isn’t personal.”

  “What about Sophia? And Jessica? Can you really condemn them to starvation, Jim? Because that’s exactly what you’re doing!”

  He gritted his teeth and shook his head a few times. “I’m sorry, Chris… but I’m taking the food, as much water as I can carry, your Walther and all the bullets. Like I said – you can keep the rifle. I’ll leave the bullets for it across the street so you can go get them later. And you’ll have water left.”

  I screamed, “How could you do this to us, you piece of shit?” I lowered my voice to a dull baritone growl. “If you do this – I’ll come after you. I swear. I won’t stop until I find you and kill you.”

  He knows I can’t keep that promise because of them.

  He put my pistol away, brought his rifle back up, stepped closer and aimed it at my head. His eyes thinned and the corners of his mouth curled down. It actually seemed like he was close to crying. “Don’t you get it? We’re fucked! I didn’t see a fuckin’ thing out there! I wasted two bullets trying to kill a damn squirrel, and we’re almost out of food! I can’t stay here!”

  At that point, I only saw it as a way to possibly get my gun back and shoot him. His tears didn’t mean shit. “I know you’re scared, but this isn’t the-“

  He barked, “Shut up and do what I say! We’re not having a fucking discussion! I’m taking your shit and leaving! I love you, man, but I gotta look out for myself and I need what you have to make it where I’m going… I swear on my life that I won’t hurt any of you. I just can’t have Jessica sneakin’ up behind me!”

  Guess not.

  I stood there and glared at him – somewhat in a state of shock. I truly wanted to kill him.

  “Move! Otherwise, I’m gonna have to knock you out and do it myself! It’s up to you, Chris!” He took on a calmer manner of speaking. “Please, I don’t want to hurt anyone. I just want to live, and staying here isn’t the way to accomplish that.”

  I continued to try and play him. “So why can’t we all go together? What the fuck?”

  “You can’t bring a goddamn four year old out there! You can’t leave and you know it. You won’t!” His breathing grew shaky. “You’re stuck here!”

  Just then, a faint noise came from the hallway. When he automatically turned his head toward the sound, I took my chance. I lunged forward and got both hands on his rifle.

  We began to struggle, and he started by trying to hit me in the face with the butt of the rifle. I had a strong grip on it, so no matter how many times he tried he couldn’t get a good shot in.

  Out of desperation, I tried to head-butt him – aiming to break his nose, which would in turn cause his eyes to tear and blur his vision. But he pulled back just in time and then used his weight to push me toward a small, knee-high table in the hopes of making me trip and fall backward. I put my left leg behind me and held steady.

  Without warning, he let go of the rifle and tried to pull the Walther out of his jacket and shoot me. As he intended, I was thrown off balance, although I still managed to grab his wrist and push the gun away right as he fired a shot.

  Without letting go of his wrist, I threw a punch with my free hand and, somehow, my knuckles miraculously made perfect contact with his left cheekbone. As he went down, the pistol dropped, fired again, then bounced and slid by the couch.

  Jim was a large, sturdy man so he quickly recovered and got to crawling for the Walther, but I reached it first. As I leaned down to grab it, my panic caused me to stumble to the floor. By the time I got him in my sights, he had almost reached me – I just reacted and began to fire.

  The third time I pulled the trigger, his head kicked back and he instantly collapsed. Within seconds, I could see the blood running from his head and spreading out across the slick wooden floor.

  My heart was going insane, my whole body was trembling and my ears were ringing – all my senses were numb and, for a moment, I began to feel like I was going to lose consciousness.

  I knew he was dead, but I just sat there on the floor and kept my gun on him…

  I had no idea how long it was before I snapped out of it and regained the ability to form lucid thoughts – I need to get to Jessica and Sophia. Everything that just happened would have to have them wide awake and scared to death. And Jessica would be able to tell that the shots came from inside the house.

  I forced myself up and staggered in the direction of the hallway that led to the bedrooms. That’s when I saw them.

  I came to a stop, using the corner of the wall to hold steady. I could barely see a glimmer from the candlelight making its way across the pool of blood surrounding them.

  “No, no, no” I whispered as I took several steps forward.

  “Jessica! Sophia!”

  Even though I knew that I was screaming, the ringing in my ears from the gunshots made it sound as if someone else was yelling to me from the distance.

  As soon as my knees slammed down on the floor next to them, I discovered that one of the bullets had gone through Sophia and hit Jessica.

  How?

  She must have been carrying her.

  It must have happened when I tried to take my gun back… Or when I killed him.

  I missed the first two shots… Did I do this?

  I
shook them and continued screaming their names. Tears ran down my face and neck to the point where they wet my collar.

  No matter how hard I shook them, they would always go right back to being completely still.

  I collapsed over both of them and rested my head on Jessica’s chest – partly because I was on the verge of blacking out. I could feel the warmth of her blood all over the side of my face, but I didn’t care. I put my arm around her and reached out with the other and held Sophia’s hand.

  I just want to be close to them…

  Day 43

  My eyes shot open – immersing me in a blinding abyss of white and amber… Am I dead?

  I slightly turned to find that it was the sun streaming down the hallway. Everything came rushing back and I forced my eyes shut again – hoping it was all a nightmare.

  I raised my head, blocking the glare with a shaking hand. My gaze drifted down to Sophia. She was leaned up against Jessica’s legs. Her hair had fallen over her face, and the sunlight was bringing out the natural highlights in her reddish-brown hair.

  I reached out and swept it away, revealing her lifeless stare and hurling myself back into reality. At first, I felt almost nothing – a warm numbness, followed by a twitch and throbbing pain in my right eye.

  When I took Jessica’s hand and brought it to my lips – It’s so cold – I felt the tears force their way out and run down my face before they dripped onto her soft skin.

  A voice in my head whispered, “Jim.”

  The entire right side of my face twitched, the pain increased and a nova-like explosion of anger sent me to my feet and roaring down the hallway. I slid to a halt and then proceeded to continuously bury my boot in his side with a ferocity that I didn’t know I was capable of.

  The only thing that stopped me was the feeling that my toes might break at any moment.

  After a deep breath accompanied by a drawn out scream, I raised my foot as far up as it would go and then brought it down on his head with every ounce of strength I had. His skull partially collapsed, letting out a muffled crunch, and the pressure bulged his eyes and forced blood from his mouth and nose.

  I stood over him, burning within, glaring down at him and yelling, “Why! “I trusted you!”