Inhuman - Book 1 Page 6

  Standing by and watching something like that happen when you have the power to stop it makes you a coward. Nothing less, nothing more.

  But I would just have to live with it, because in that instance my cowardice most likely saved my wife and daughter…

  Jim turned to me, sullen, disgusted, and softly said, “I’ll go right, you go left. Let’s just hurry up so we can get the fuck outta here.”

  I gave yet another silent nod and headed right. As soon as I turned the corner into their small, dingy, outdated kitchen, I saw three large cutting boards covered with well organized, thin slices of meat. A large knife rested in between them.

  I asked aloud, “Why wouldn’t they have taken this?” Then called out to Jim, “Hey, I found a bunch of fresh meat in the kitchen.”

  When he walked in and saw it, he stopped and stared in confusion as well. “Why the hell would they leave all this? Are you sure it isn’t rotten?”

  “Hank did have a gun, so maybe he managed to kill something” I said as I walked up, took a closer look and smelled it. “It’s not exactly fresh, but it’s not bad.”

  “That’s strange... Well, let’s keep looking around. There could be more somewhere.”

  I went over to the cabinets on my left and began searching them. The hinges of each one let out that familiar squeal. Not to my surprise, everything of use was gone.

  There was a loud bang – I whipped around and raised my gun.

  Jim was by the sink. He’d dropped his rifle to the floor and was slowly backing away. “What the fuck?” he whispered.

  After several hesitant steps, I could see that the top rim of the sink was covered in blood.

  When I got close enough to lean over and look inside, the shock and disgust made me immediately turn my head and start to back away, just like Jim. Even though I knew what I had seen was real, I had to look again. It was just too hard to believe.

  I took a few steps forward and peered back in… Noticeably female hands and feet were swimming in a hellish stew of blood, bones, hair and organs. A wedding ring and jewelry were in a shot glass next to the sink, and a nightgown was neatly folded on the counter nearby.

  The moment I laid eyes on the heart, I wanted to look away again but I couldn’t. It had me completely paralyzed – sickeningly entranced. It made me think of Jessica and Sophia, and if it would be their fate as well if I failed to protect them. “How could… people do this?” I asked after my third attempt at trying to speak.

  Jim leaned down and picked up his rifle, slowly putting his arm through the strap and leading it around to his back. “Chris… I don’t think it was them.”

  My eyes thinned as I studied the scene. It didn’t take long at all before the evidence of what actually happened registered and revealed the true story – why the meat was still there, and why Hank had been shot over a dozen times.

  They didn’t do it for fun – they did it because they discovered what he did to his wife…

  I attempted to rationalize it. “Maybe she died first.”

  Jim didn’t answer, and I had nothing else to say either. It was because we both knew it was bullshit.

  …

  Three days had passed and I hadn’t formed a single thought that didn’t eventually lead back to what happened. Every time I shut my eyes, I’d see the sink and the carefully laid out cuts of her flesh all over the kitchen table.

  I’d spent hours trying to understand how he could do that to his wife – to someone he was supposed to love and care for. And I spent even more time contemplating all the unimaginable horrors that could befall Jessica and Sophia.

  They must have run out of food right away. I’ve always heard starvation was a drawn out, torturous death.

  The kind of thing that could cause someone to go insane.

  I didn’t tell Jessica about what we saw, and I made Jim promise never to speak of it again. But she knew something was wrong – that something obviously happened to us in that house...

  I sat in a chair with my rifle lying across my lap, looking out the front window and dreading what might happen next. I briefly considered trying to band everyone together so we could combine our supplies and help protect each other, but I hadn’t seen a single person since that night – and the idea of trusting anyone other than Jim was completely out of the question.

  To my relief, the death-ridden train of thoughts barreling through my head was suddenly interrupted by the always comical sounds of Sophia’s tiny feet running across the wood flooring.

  At first, I was near furious that Jessica let her out of the bedroom. Instead, I turned around and put on a big smile. It wasn’t even remotely genuine, but I didn’t want her to get the sense of how terrified I was. She was old enough to pick up on things like that, so if she knew we were all afraid it would only make her feel the same way.

  I leaned over, rested my rifle next to the chair and then she hopped in my lap. I let out an over exaggerated groan. “You’re getting to big to do that.”

  “Nooo, I’m still little!” She giggled, though her expression turned worrisome when she noticed the rifle. “Whatcha doin’, daddy?”

  Making sure no one is coming to kill us and take everything we have. “Oh nothing, sweetie.”

  Shit. I have to come up something.

  I noticed a small bird perched on Hank’s mailbox. Its head was darting around, scanning the grass for something to eat. “Just watching that little bird look for food. Do you see it?” I said as I pointed across the street.

  Sophia jumped down and approached the window. “I don’t like birds, but I just read a book about a tiger. I like tigers.” She whipped around. “Can we get a tiger?”

  I couldn’t help but laugh. “Well I don’t know about a tiger, little one. Maybe in a few years I’ll get you a cat. How does that sound?”

  She folded her arms across her chest and scrunched her little face – she was reminding me more of Jessica every day. “That’s not the same!”

  I smiled and stated, “Most people don’t know this, but cats are tigers.” I raised my left brow. “They just never grow up so you can keep them in the house. That way they can sleep in your bed at night and watch over you.”

  Her face lit up. “I’m gonna go tell mommy you said I could have a baby tiger! She said I couldn’t!” Then she ran away to inform Jessica.

  I continued to softly chuckle, but then my gaze drifted back over to Hank’s house and any momentary happiness I was feeling rapidly transformed back into fear. I clenched my jaw, picked up the rifle and moved my finger to the trigger. My hand was shaking again.

  The sun was directly behind his house and making it hard for me to see. I need to take a break from staring at it anyway. Maybe if I just walk away I’ll be able to think about something else for a little while…

  Jim and I hadn’t talked much since that day. And I’d recently become aware that he was out of booze. It wasn’t something I’d ever brought up to him, though I always knew he was an alcoholic. He wasn’t a sloppy drunk or anything like that. He just needed to steadily drink all day to function.

  He’s probably sick on top of having to deal with the reality of what we saw.

  Since he’d started staying with us, it was the same routine every day. He watched the back and I watched the front. We slept in four hour shifts – each getting one during the day and one at night.

  Everything was “fine” at the moment, but soon we’d have to start venturing out for food again. And since groups of people were wandering around looking to kill and steal, it had become a huge risk. Simply venturing outside could end up alerting people to our existence. The paranoia it inspired was relentless.

  What if someone is watching us, just waiting for the right time to make their move?

  We had food, water, guns and ammunition. It wasn’t much, but those simple things were priceless – worth more to some than any human life.

  Eventually, I’ll have to take the risk. I have no choice…

  I got up and he
aded to the back of the house so I could check on Jim. I ran into Jessica along the way – we startled each other and she jumped back a bit.

  She let out a sigh of relief, hugged me, lightly laughed and asked, “So, uh, what’s this about promising Sophia a baby tiger?”

  I smiled and put my hands up. “Well, she wants a tiger so I told her that we’d get a cat since they’re just tigers that never grow up. That’s what I promised her.”

  She shook her head and glanced upward. “That makes a little more sense.” She paused and studied my face. “So you’re still not going to talk to me about what happened in Hank’s house? I can tell you need to.”

  I didn’t respond. My eyes drifted away from hers and down to the floor. “I’ve gotta go check on Jim.” I moved in and kissed her “I love you” before I continued on.

  I didn’t mean to be cold, but the very mention of it wreaked havoc with my emotions – made me feel dead inside. I was coming to the realization that allowing myself to turn into a monster might be the only thing that could keep us safe. That I needed to be ready to kill anyone without a moment’s hesitation if they even came near any of us – no matter how innocent or helpless they appeared to be.

  I don’t ever want her to feel this way…

  When I reached the back yard, I found Jim squatting by the fire and heating up some water. He must have heard my footsteps crunching through the grass and dried leaves. He turned back and said, “This is the last bit of coffee. Come on and sit down.”

  I grabbed two chairs that were set near the back door and joined him. “It’s only noon, and we already had some. Don’t you wanna save it for tomorrow?”

  “I need it, man.” He groaned as he stood up, seemingly ignoring the chair I brought for him. “I didn’t sleep last night. I’m afraid I’ll doze off.”

  Come to think of it, I didn’t either… “Yeah me too.”

  Jim left the fire and began gathering up more dried leaves to feed it. It was still cold, so sitting next to the glowing embers and watching the tips of the flames going from blue to orange was somewhat comforting. And the idea of another hot cup of coffee was even better.

  When Jim handed me a cup, he remarked, “Enjoy it. It’s gonna be like losing a best friend.”

  I wanted to laugh but it just wasn’t there. “Yeah, our mornings are really gonna suck now.”

  Jim grunted when he fell back into the chair. Then he moved it a little closer to the fire and kicked his feet out. “So how much food would you say we have left?”

  “Jessica and I split up enough equal portions to give each of us a descent amount of food every day for another eleven days. If we stretch it out any longer we won’t be feeling so great… and we need to stay sharp.”

  He leaned back and straightened his legs, putting his feet even closer to the fire. “Well, I’ll take the first go at it.”

  “Okay, just don’t wander too far. If you have to bring home squirrels and some of those little birds we’ll just make due. It’s not safe anymore, and being a good shot doesn’t mean shit if it’s ten against one… That same group might come through again. Shit, they could be watching us right now.”

  He scoffed, “Ah, I think they were watching us. I have a good feeling they don’t want to risk getting killed, so they won’t try anything on us. That’s obviously why they picked the homes they did. Those pricks are long gone.”

  It was a nice thought, but that was exactly the type of thinking I knew could get us all killed... If they (or anyone else) are in fact waiting for an opportunity, taking one of us out while we were away from the house would really benefit them.

  Of course, there was a great chance that Jim was right, and that they moved on the moment they were done. I understood that I could just be succumbing to extreme paranoia, but it didn’t matter – not at all. It was imperative that I maintained the mindset of expecting the worst.

  Evil is all around us now. I saw it that night, and the next morning in Hank’s kitchen…

  Day 42

  It was just past noon. We all sat around the dining room table, quietly eating and occasionally glancing over at one another. The conversation had long grown stale and it was difficult for all of us to maintain any semblance of a decent mood.

  We were finishing up with our meager portions of food for the day. I had a little more to give Sophia later, but the rest of us would have wait until the next day. The new norm was dealing with a growling stomach for most of the day.

  Really, I was just grateful that no one had attacked us, we were all still alive, and that I hadn’t been forced to kill anyone else.

  I still thought about that man quite frequently – wondering if there was a child somewhere missing him. At times, and it was very strange, I thought I could feel the hatred and sorrow emanating from the people he left behind in the form of waves of energy specifically seeking out my conscience.

  I imagined that the man who ran off was sitting around with his family, plotting against mine. Not only for revenge, but to claim everything we had…

  I broke the silence “Only one day left” and looked over at Jim – purposely being cryptic because I didn’t want Sophia to know I meant one day of food.

  He wiped his face with his sleeve. “Yeah, I was planning on heading out in a few minutes.”

  Sophia remained oblivious, lightly humming to herself and filling in a coloring book. The crayons were almost gone – nothing but little stubs. She was having trouble holding onto them.

  How am I going to explain why I can’t go get her more?

  Jessica was staring out the window with her chin resting on her hand – deep in thought. I’d felt us growing apart ever since I got back from Hank’s house and I knew that it was my fault. I’d become completely closed off and rarely felt like talking anymore.

  There was just too much to think about and to be afraid of. Really, the only thing I was capable of concentrating on was watching through the front windows and, even then, I’d have to regularly remind myself to pay attention instead of drifting away into the ever-growing abyss of my darkened thoughts.

  I can only hope that once this is all over she’ll understand…

  Jim pushed his chair back and stood up. Then adjusted his belt and dragged himself toward the door leading to the backyard. His hunched shoulders and quiet mumbling illuminated his feelings of hopelessness.

  I reached out and touched Jessica’s hand as I got up to follow after him. She turned and gave me what I knew was a forced smile – it was the only kind I’d seen in weeks.

  As soon as we were out of earshot from Sophia, I said, “Try not to stay out longer than two hours. Even if that group of guys left, there could be more around – or some more could show up.” I patted him on the back. “Just be careful, man. Spend more time watching your surroundings than looking for something to shoot.”

  He sighed heavily. “Yeah, I gotcha. But two hours? That’s not a lot of time. How about three?”

  I knew it wasn’t a good idea. I didn’t want him getting too far away, but I replied, “Alright” anyway.

  “Don’t worry, I’ll make it back” he said with a look of uncertainty that matched his dull, unmotivated tone.

  “If you don’t get anything I still want you back in three hours, alright? Please.”

  Jim nodded and headed for the woods. I remained outback, watching until he became lost in the trees. I was waiting to hear him getting shot.

  Everything in me wanted to run after him so I could watch his back. For the first time, I genuinely believed that I’d never see him again if I didn’t.

  …

  I lingered in the backyard, admiring the mountains in the distance and enjoying the cold air whipping across my body. It slightly startled me when I felt the warmth of Jessica putting her arms around me and pressing herself against my back. I was so distracted by my warring thoughts – alarmingly, I didn’t hear her walk up behind me.

  I stood there, perfectly content for what seemed like minutes be
fore I turned around and took her into my arms. “I’m sorry I’ve been so distant. I don’t mean to be.”

  She kept her head against my chest. “Why won’t you just talk to me?”

  Because I don’t want you to be as afraid as I am.

  She backed up, softened her face and our eyes met. “I don’t know what you saw in that house, but I deserve to know.” She took my hand. “We’re all in this together.”

  As she looked at me so innocently, full of so much love, trust and affection, I knew that I had to tell her. Even though I wanted to avoid it more than just about anything.

  She isn’t scared enough.

  She needs to know what people are capable of.

  That it can be far worse than just being shot.

  I took a deep breath and slowly let it out through my nose. I was trying to come up with a way to even start. Jessica inched closer when I finally began to speak. “I… When we went in, Hank was lying at the bottom of the stairs… After that, Jim and I split up. I went into the kitchen… Either his wife died, or Hank… Hank killed her.” I was having trouble maintaining eye contact. “He’d been eating her.”

  I watched her go from concerned and somewhat intrigued to horrified and disgusted in an instant. She started shaking her head and stuttering. “Wha-what makes you think it wasn’t those men?”

  “It wasn’t them. Everything had been sitting out for a while. And it was clear that the guys who broke in tried to make him suffer for what he did. He was shot at least a dozen times.”

  She was too shocked to speak, so I stepped forward and put my arms around her again. We both stood there in silence, squeezing each other tighter as the seconds passed. And she was right – confiding in her did make me feel better.

  Unfortunately, it had done the exact opposite for her.

  …

  For the next few hours, I (partially) pulled myself away from staring out the window and spent some time with them. To promote normalcy, we played hide and seek for a while. She kept talking about what she was going to do once she got her “tiger”.