Inhuman [Book 1] Read online

  I don’t have many left. I can’t leave them behind.

  I may never get my hands on any again and my survival depends on them in more than one way.

  I slammed my fist down on the kitchen counter. It knocked one of the jugs of water onto the floor and rattled everything in the cabinets underneath. The jug burst and splashed water up onto my legs and shoes – adding to the chill I already had.

  As I approached Jim’s body, I felt the familiar trembling in my hands. And when I saw the way that I mangled his skull during my fit of rage it made me feel sick.

  How could I do that to someone?

  I probably would have thrown up if my stomach wasn’t completely empty.

  I leaned over him, doing my best to look away, and started taking the bullets out of his pocket – one by one. The unsteadiness of my hands caused me to fumble several of them onto the floor. The metal hitting the wood flooring and briefly rolling away was almost thunderous in the spacious and completely silent room.

  Once I gathered them all up and fetched both rifles, I practically ran for the stairs, looking straight ahead in order to spare myself from peering down the hallway. All that awaited me was the massive pool of blood left behind by my wife and daughter – because of my carelessness and naivety…

  During the struggle with Jim my Walther was fired five times, which meant I had six left. I lingered in the upstairs bedroom and checked, just to be sure. When I opened the box for it my heart sank – nine bullets. The box for the K98, which currently had five in it, was even worse – seven.

  I had a total of twenty seven bullets for my guns, plus the box of six I found at Jim’s and whatever was in his rifle… For hunting and defending myself?

  I’m fucked.

  One thing I learned from hunting and going to the shooting range with my father was just how quickly the bullets the run out. Thirty-something may have sounded like a decent amount but it was nothing, which was another reason why I had to avoid people. I had to save them so I could feed myself.

  After packing I else needed, I went back out to the graves. Strangely, I thought of praying, though I soon laughed to myself… If there is something up there watching over us… listening… Fuck you...

  The light hitting the necklace I hung from the cross kept catching my eye. At the time, I didn’t know I was going to leave yet, so I stood up, slid the necklace off the cross, took down Sophia’s shoes and put them in my bag.

  It led to another realization – something so important that I no longer cared about having to walk down that hallway.

  I’d read books and seen movies where characters discussed forgetting the faces of their long-lost loved ones… I can’t let that happen… The thought of not being able to see them in my mind crushed all other emotions and drove me back into the house.

  As I walked down the hallway, I kept my eyes tightly shut and used the wall to guide myself. After no more than ten steps, I began to hear my boots splashing through their blood. I just kept going – trying to escape reality by envisioning walking through puddles on a rainy day.

  It didn’t work worth a shit...

  The sight of our bed caused me to see Jessica lying in it. I imagined wrapping my arms around her and feeling the warmth of her body up against mine. I even took a few steps toward the bed. It seemed so real.

  Snap the fuck out of it.

  I already knew what picture I wanted to take. We didn’t have many, but there was an especially good one that was taken right before we moved away from the city. April 20th – Sophia’s 4th birthday. We took her to Central Park so she could see all the beautiful flowers that had come into bloom. Her favorite part of the day was when she fed some of her hotdog bun to the ducks. Then we got her some ice cream and took her to the carousel for the first time.

  Once she was done, Jessica asked a man who was there with his family to take our picture. It was one of the few we had of us all together, so I took it off the nightstand and then made my way back outside…

  I spent a few more minutes sitting between their graves, saying goodbye in my own way. I didn’t want to leave them, but I knew that if I didn’t I’d just drown in my own insanity since, apparently, I wasn’t able to do what I really wanted to do.

  Maybe I just need time for it to really sink in.

  Let the sadness build and build…

  I glanced down at my watch – it was 9:12am. Judging by the map, I’d be able to spend the day in mainly wooded areas and remain well hidden. By the time I did reach any more populated areas I’d have the cover of darkness.

  Even though I knew they couldn’t hear me, I told them I loved them one last time as I rose to my feet. Then I told them I was sorry.

  Just as I was about to walk away, the whistle of the wind was replaced by the low roar of what sounded like loud cars or motorcycles in the distance. I held my next breath and listened. A few weeks ago, I would have hoped it was FEMA or the military coming to give aid or tell us we were free to leave. Not anymore.

  Wouldn’t that be some shit.

  There were only six streets and seven rows of houses in our little area – the next neighborhood was miles away. Therefore, whoever it was had to be heading in my direction. There was nowhere else to go.

  I headed toward the front of the house, but soon stopped to rethink what I was doing… I could be spotted too easily this way. I should just hide inside by a window.

  The sounds became louder and louder as the seconds passed. And I could definitely make out multiple vehicles approaching at high speeds, so I quickly ran back to the fire, thoroughly stomped it out and then flew into the house.

  I kneeled down next to the far left window in the front and opened it a few inches so I could listen. Then I just waited…

  It wasn’t long before I could confidently identify the sounds of motorcycles and modified V8’s – a sound I knew well. There was no question that I was about to be in danger because I knew for a fact that the government would never run obnoxiously loud, straight pipes on their vehicles.

  It’s definitely a group of people looking for supplies.

  I did my best to look down the street without making myself too visible, but I still couldn’t see anything, even though it sounded like they were already on my street.

  As I moved just a little to the left so I could see farther down, I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. When I looked in between the two homes across the street and over to the next, I spotted an older man on a motorcycle, accompanied by two younger ones on dirt bikes. I guessed that it was a father and his two sons.

  They were being followed by three pickup trucks – all with at least two people sitting upfront. The men on the motorcycles had rifles strapped to their backs and pistols at their sides. They were all new and modern – like the types of guns the military would use. They all had scopes, large magazines and each man I laid eyes on appeared to be dressed for war. It actually looked like they were wearing some type of body armor.

  For a moment, the thought – Maybe they’re looking for that kid – entered my mind. But it didn’t matter why they showed up, and trying to find out was too much of a gamble. I already learned what blind trust leads to. Furthermore, they definitely came across as some really dangerous people who knew exactly what they were doing, and they could be on me in a matter of seconds.

  If they find my fire, they’ll know I’m still close by.

  I have to get far away from here.

  Day 46

  I was left with no choice other than to sleep next to fires each night because it was still getting down into what felt like the thirties at night – possibly even less. It was a risk, but freezing to death was also a serious issue since the “wind chill” dropped the temperature even more so.

  Having a fire going did something very dangerous. It made it so my eyes could never fully adjust to the darkness. I could only see the small area around me that was reached by its light. Someone could have been standing twenty feet away and I’d have had
no idea, but they’d be able to see me as if it were the middle of the day.

  And if they had a scoped rifle…

  Not a second passed where I didn’t feel like I was going to be shot at any moment. If anyone was watching, they could see that I had supplies – things worth killing for. Fortunately, it was probably just paranoia. Most likely, I was the only person around for miles.

  I’d seen a few scattered homes, some farms and one small community along the way, but that was it. And I only looked out from the tree line – everyone was either gone or hiding inside, waiting to shoot someone like me for trespassing.

  I even saw a small, rundown looking grocery store, but the front windows had been smashed, making it obvious that it was emptied out a while ago. Since I had food it wasn’t at all worth the risk. I’d heard more than a dozen shots go off in the distance from people hunting (or fighting), so I quickly concluded that it was in my best interest to just keep moving…

  After almost three days of walking, I still hadn’t seen anything worth shooting, but I was also at least a day away from the area of the forest marked on the map.

  Has to mean people have been hunting all around here.

  Even the squirrels are scarce.

  I better be more mindful.

  I did my best to try and keep track of how many miles I’d walked (while holding onto the assumption that I was probably way off). I did know that it couldn’t have been more than ten or twelve miles a day – so most likely, I had another two days before I’d reach the start of the national forest.

  Of course, there was always the chance that everyone else had the same idea. It was one of the few sections that didn’t have anything around it in all directions for over twenty miles.

  I could be walking into a warzone of desperate, starving people who have a lot more experience with guns and hunting than I do.

  Although, it was a rather simple choice, mainly because I didn’t have another one. Yes, I could live off squirrels, rabbits and small birds for a while, but I’d need at least one a day… That’s one bullet a day. Probably more since shit that small is harder to hit.

  I needed to kill things that would produce enough dried meat to feed me for weeks at a time. I also had to remember that every time I fired a shot I gave away my position, and that both rifles were extremely loud – especially my grandfather’s.

  Also, I couldn’t waste any bullets because it was only a matter of time before I ran into someone and I’d probably need them. It was completely unrealistic to think I’d stay in the forest forever or that I’d never run into anyone who intended to kill me and take all of my shit...

  The small patches of woods had been otherwise silent – even the birds weren’t very active yet. And first light brought a fog so dense that it took hours for the sun to disperse it.

  At times everything looked the same, and my only tool of navigation was the barely visible compass on my father’s watch. If it was inaccurate and I hadn’t really heading South-East, I would run right into main roads and bigger towns. And I already discovered that because of whatever’s happening everyone’s going to be quicker to shoot than talk – even the military.

  Everything combined made being all alone even more concerning. It wasn’t only people that I had to worry about, but things like mountain lions, wolves and bears as well, and they could smell my stench from miles away – especially since I haven’t been bathing. Which was just another reason why I had to risk making a fire each night.

  …

  As I lay there looking up at the stars, I’d been feeling the temperature slowly dropping toward the point of being unbearable. I was already too close to the flames, but I inched over just a little more anyway. Jeans and a semi-heavy jacket weren’t helping my situation.

  I was right on the brink of beginning to shiver. I’d kept the fire small and somewhat dug into the ground due to the fear of it being spotted, so as the minutes passed and the winds picked up even more it became next to useless.

  I had to force myself up and find some more dried leaves and dead tree branches – it was only going to get worse. I was so distracted and upset by everything that I didn’t consider the conditions at night. Then those men showed up and it was too late to do anything but run away.

  I should have gotten extra clothing. God damn idiot…

  Just then, I heard the drawn out howl of a wolf. And right away, I thought about how if I was close enough to hear that, it was close enough to smell me… Fuck it. I’m making this fire bigger... I felt somewhat safe to assume that no one else was walking around in the woods at night in such cold weather.

  It’s definitely colder tonight anyway.

  By the time I threw in the third armload of leaves and broken branches, it had gone from the height of my knees to a five foot tall inferno. I knowingly overdid it, but it wouldn’t last in such strong winds and I had a long night ahead of me, so I decided that it was a worthwhile.

  The only thing I could look forward to was knowing that I’d have no trouble sleeping. The days I spent walking had absolutely exhausted me.

  I didn’t even bother to ease myself down. I just fell to the ground, almost knocking the wind out of myself. Then simply coughed a few times and went back to stargazing. The trees were still somewhat thinned out, so it gave me a clear view of the entire night sky.

  To my relief, the extra warmth came quickly and the sounds of the crackling and popping embers began to soothe me. As I started to fade, I thought of Jessica and Sophia. I could see them running around, laughing and playing in our backyard. I could feel Jessica’s touch as she ran over to kiss me.

  We were all so happy.

  Day 47

  Before I even opened my eyes, I could feel myself shivering. The fire was almost dead, so I decided to get moving. That way I would warm up and make progress at the same time.

  More than anything, I needed to get where I was going and either find some type of natural shelter or find a way to create it. There were going to be at least another two months of extremely cold nights and I wasn’t even close to prepared.

  I’m just lucky it hasn’t snowed in almost a week.

  The fog was already gone and the sun was almost above the trees, letting me know I’d slept longer than intended. I looked down at my father’s watch – it was 7:42.

  Shit. I guess I needed it…

  My stomach was already begging for food but I could only eat one of my pre-separated portions per day – which I’d recently had to make larger. I found it best to wait until at least 1:00pm and then save a (very) small amount for later.

  Starting the day with an empty, pained stomach wasn’t exactly pleasant, though for whatever reason, getting up and starting to move made the hunger go away for long intervals of time. It was simply easier to deal with it for the first part of the day.

  I rose to my feet and turned in place until the compass read SE. It was dangerously simple to get disoriented when everything looked the same, so I always made sure to check every half hour or so as I traveled. And something to think about, anything to concentrate on, was better than thinking about everything that happened.

  My clothes felt twisted from sleeping in them, so before I tucked the Walther back in my belt I straightened them all out. My sore back and shoulders caused me to grunt as I slung the duffle bag around first so the rifle would be on top of it and readily available. Since Jim’s rifle had a scope, I left mine packed away. His was useful for scouting out my surroundings.

  I took a deep breath as I gazed out into the trees, and then started walking. It wasn’t one of those things that “made the hours pass like minutes”… they pass like fucking hours.

  …

  My feet were beginning to hurt and an old knee injury I’d gotten in my youth from a car crash was bothering the hell out of me. I slowed down and glanced at my watch – it had only been about three hours, and I had to keep walking until dark. I allotted myself twenty minute rests here and there, but that was it. And I was f
orced to eat more since my energy expenditure had gone way up, so I was running out of food again. I had to get where I was going.

  Water wasn’t an issue, as there were small lakes and streams every few miles – many being fed by melting snow from the mountains. The perfectly pure, ice cold streams made it seem as though I’d never had clean water in my entire life. It was so cold that it would actually hurt my teeth if I didn’t let it sit around awhile.

  I just had to keep reminding myself that I was making decent time and that the only thing I really needed to worry about was being shot for my supplies. It was a difficult thing to constantly be aware of. It was so new, and still somewhat unbelievable...

  I continued to scan the distance for game as I walked. The forest thickened and I began to see more and more wildlife – nothing worth shooting yet, though I was already seeing the signs of an absence of hunting in the area. I spotted several rabbits and dozens of squirrels, just in the last few hours, so if it came down to wasting my bullets on them – at least they were plentiful.

  Technically, things were “looking up”, but instead, I focused on the idea of being all alone in the woods with my own thoughts.

  Will I just end up going crazy and ending my life?

  I mean, really. What’s the point of going on?

  Eventually, I’ll have to leave… and then what? Even if things are back to normal soon.

  I’ll be all alone. Always knowing that it was my fucking fault.

  …

  The next time I looked down at my watch it was almost 4:00pm. My knee was throbbing and my feet had officially gone numb so I stopped, let the bag slide off my shoulder and then sat up against a tree.

  As I walked, all the different shit I had made so much noise that it drowned out anything else. It had sparked a headache hours ago. It was so repetitive and constant, which was why I truly enjoyed the few minutes of silence accompanied by the soft, exquisitely random sounds of nature each time I took a rest.